bleugh!

Sunday, July 19, 2009 9:14 AM

hello world!

im back from bangkok! alive! and in one piece!

the trip was awesome!

lots of shopping, though i didnt buy much for myself, im not a shopper, but
i really enjoyed spending time with ppl i value in my life.
its like, we haven't really gotten to spend time with each other for very long,
and finally there was an opportunity to sorta like, catch up.
get to know them again.

and on this trip, i learned.
that there is nothing wrong with laughing.
with having fun.
that there's more than one way to be there for someone.
i have been stupid, maybe.
ignorant. stubborn.
i learned, really, alot.
i learned that i really cant love any group of people who're not related to me more than the airens.
theyve somehow just become, in every essence of the phrase, a part of me.
and i thank God for them. every night.

awesome trip. so sad caho and jac couldn be there.
but dont worry, in the fifty years to come, we'll have plenty of chances.
make plenty of trips, have plenty of HTHTs.
because we'll always be there for each other.
and there is nothing wrong with laughing.

AWESOME!
ive never laughed so much on a trip. ha.
laughing is good.
trains your muscles.
laugh more! :)

i also learned that
deep down, im still the disgusting, pathetic, irksome, selfish, foul creature ive always been.
i am ashamed.
and embarrassed.

i gave my all and expected the same in return.
and i forgot to take into account what you wanted, or whether you were happy.
i assumed, i accused.
and it is ok that i hurt, because i deserve it.
thats why i said i was sorry.

JAX ......out