bleugh!

Wednesday, July 08, 2009 12:38 AM

hello world!

i stayed up with my sister to watch the live memorial service for MJ early in the wee hours of morning today.

i guess i never explained to anyone MJ's significance in my life. i know many other ppl out there are claiming to have listened to his songs since young blahblah and we'll never know the truthful ones from those just banking in on this occasion.
but MJ was really splattered all over my childhood; my father, being someone working in the music industry, loved his songs and he sold albums. he loved MJ, and so, of course, traded alot of his albums. and these stocks of his always came by my home, and we'd play and test the music etc.. and most of the time, Michael Jackson's songs would play. even though i come from a family of chinese-speaking ppl, we loved our english songs, and MJ was right up there. i rmb once, when i was still young and not schooling (sigh), there was an mtv of one of MJ's songs. and when i watched, i asked my dad why there were two ppl singing: Michael Jackson, and some black guy. lol. i even thought the black person was MJ's girlfriend(or the other way round) lol. and i was still confused even after they explained to me that they were the one and same. sigh. such memories.
so you see, MJ was very much a part of my childhood, and he reminded me of times i had with my dad.

it was kind of a nice surprise to see that the family decided to let the world have a final look at the casket which encases MJ's body.
i didnt really know what to expect, yknow.
it was like. 'oh MJ's memorial? ok i'll watch'.
and its only when you see the casket being brought out that it finally hit me that MJ's gone,man. like, dead dead. no more soul, only a decaying body.
im not gg to fawn over him with all the oh i loved MJ, he's the king of pop kinda crap,
because there's been too much of it and all that talk is just so unnecessary and useless.
and all the ppl who have voiced their frustrations, about how 'half the ppl mourning didnt even listened to his songs before his death'; its kinda silly, isnt it.?
its like a kid venting his anger and throwing tantrums after another kid claims his toy.
and all the controversy and debate and lawsuits revolving around MJ's will, MJ's burial site, MJ's children, .. is all kinda sickening.
to quote his brother: 'maybe they'll leave you alone now.'
and it seems that even after his death, Michael cant seem to get any peace.
this world is too full of sin, of greed, of people feeding off fame and now MJ's misfortune.

but this morning people seemed to put aside their differences, as it finally hits them that MJ is gone. that never again will he perform for us, write beautiful songs for us, etc.
it really is a sad loss.
and the memorial service was very touching, filled with many of his masterpieces, songs that are, all at once, so familiarly close to our hearts and distant from our souls.
btw, Jennifer Hudson was awesome.
and it was so so moving to see all the stars come together to sing for Michael one last time, and you could feel them singing with their hearts and emotions.
and through the memorial service, listening to a repetoire of his songs, i couldn help but think, as the whole wide world tuned in to watch, that MJ got his final world tour, his final curtain call, and surely, something he might have preferred to performing in London for a small group of ppl.

and i choose to believe in MJ's innocence.
as the congress lady said to much applause, 'Everyone is innocent unless proven otherwise.'
surely someone who's done so much for little kids wouldn't hurt them in any way.

and its true, you know.
how he really paved the way towards equality amongst the different races, and made the world a better place for all of us to live in.
its amazing, huh? how God uses individuals to shake the world like that.
how one single person's death can really make everyone stop and mourn.
how about Jesus? why didn't the world stop and mourn for Him?
but ohwell, God's plans will work out in the end.

it was a sweet and heartfelt memorial; my sister cried throughout the whole thing, and im sure, so did many others. millions of others.
sigh, ohwell. life goes on.
Amen.

JAX ......out