bleugh!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007 8:27 AM

today i went to visit my grandfather.
i love visiting my grandfather.
everything there is..peaceful...calm...(albeit a little too sunny)
i feel at peace everytime i go there.
you see the soft lush grass just moving in the soft breeze
the happy colours on the windmill-thingies chasing each other..
this gripping closeness to God.

usually i visit my grandfather's grave first,but today,the flowers came late so i didnt want to visit him without preparations,and i went to visit the other regulars i visit other than grandpa.
neptune's grave--a 2-year-old husky.his tombstone resides in a beautiful mini garden.
amanda yeo--the ''unlucky'' 20-year-old who died in a car accident-unlucky or lucky,you decide.
uncle tan--a church friend who died of cancer.
and of course,my maternal grandpa who died four years ago.

the flowers were late in arriving,so i had a little more time to walk around the whole cemetery.
i see young,old,chubby,thin faces smiling at me in all directions.
somehow there's an odd peace on their photographs.
did they already,perhaps,expect the very photo they were taking to be used for their grave in the (near) future?
probably not. the more logical answer would be; they had come to terms with death,before they face death.
yes,it is a protestant cemetery.
all christian faces smiling at me.
all content and happy,now with God,i assume.
my nephews voice their sympathy for them.
'such a pity to die so young'.
pity?i say they're the lucky ones.

i also see forsaken and dirty,forgotten graves.
i feel sad.they may be gone from the surface of the earth,but they are not gone from the world.
i see the empty vases,filled not with flowers but instead murky rainwater,and i feel..neglect.
yeh,i totally understand neglection.
would my own grave be like that?..
so ive decided.
when ive started working..i will visit my grandfather...and all the other graves.
and for each empty vase i see,i will fill it with white roses.
(:
yes,i will.i will i will i will.
my message to them with the white roses?
'' meet you in heaven. (: ''

JAX ......out