bleugh!

Saturday, January 06, 2007 1:04 AM

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gosh i love this song.
i know it sounds emo but to me its actually comforting cos its like i know God will stand by me.
something like that.
enjoy! must listen to it ok!
/edit

my oh my.
look at this blog,ppl!
its become so totally emo!
-when ive promised you poor readers that there wont be anymore emo posts!
im sorry ppl!
let me make it up to you!
..
..
ok i dont know how to make it up.
so well,i'll give it a shot anyway.
i shall blog about happy stuffs today!
ha.ok nothing NICE happened.
i saw alot of nice nice men's shirts but ive got nobody to buy it for!
so im sad,cos i got nobody to buy for=(
..
..
then i decided to take a two-hour long bus ride to think things through..
and you know wut i really really have goals in life.
oh that was random.but i have goals in life.
and guess wut? they're gonna become real. cos i'll make it real.

there was this rainy day,and i jsut got off work all booged and all...
so i had to take the %^$!@^$%@ bus all the way from ______ to bedok reservoir.
the bus was a double decker.
it was empty.
and without looking at where im going i just swopped down onto one of the empty seats..
guess wut? it had a clear window-means not obscured by the ^%$%@^$ ads.sheesh.companies these days.-and i had a clear view of wutever went on outside you know.
and it was so ^%$@^&% cold cos well,the bus was empty!
and it wasnt raining outside,it was POURING.
so there i was,just looking out of the window..
and the bus was going along a highway so it was going like at 858748764miles an hour..so all i could see was tree after tree after tree after..you get the point.
the weather..the view..made me kinda like,i feel so alone and distanced from everybody else you know?
the bus was REALLY EMPTY.
so i was like, hey i like it.
like,i like the solitude and all..the peace.serenity.personal space.
i could practically hop around the bus and nobody'd be looking at me with the wide eyes typical of singaporeans staring at ''insane'' ppl.
nobody'd even know,except for the bus driver who'd be hearing 'thud thud's from above and then he'd freak out and we'd all die in a car accident but oh look im digressing.

so i was thinking.
i really like that kinda feeling.
where you can just really 'get away from it all'.
i know.
sounds so ethereal.. insubstantial stuff i know.
like those stupid shows and books you read..
'i wanna be alone for some time and get away from it all'..
hey guess wut.
its not ethereal
its very very real.i felt it.
i felt wut it feels to be able to spend alone time thinking about all sorts of stuff...
your religion your relationships your dreams your past you future..
it was like i was in this place with absolutely no limits to your thoughts.

and ive decided.
when im of legal age(wutever is legal for momma) i wanna just drop my stuffs here and head to some european or australian(my two favourite countries duh) country and just watch ppl hurry along their daily routine..
nobody would stare at me(ok maybe soe idiots would) and nobody would recognise me(unless your stalking me,you cheeky shit) and id be free to do wutever i want,whenever i want,however i want to do it.
id be given unlimited thinking time.
the freedom,ppl,the freedom!
ok i better contain myself.

dont you feel as though sometimes,you want to spend time alone and think things through however stupid the things are?
and you dont seem to get enough space at home to do so?(irritating siblings..nosey parents)..
cos i feel like that all the time.
i love my toilet times.-yes im that desperate-sometimes i can spend hours 'showering' when im really all dressed and sitting on the toilet bowl(with the lid down ppl!) and just thinking.
but usually i get interrupted cos my stupid brother wants to use the damn toilet.

thats why i took the two-hour bus ride home today,when i could easily have just taken the train and reach home in like 45 minutes.

sometimes,you dont have to rush for time.make time wait for you.
there was this email that goes..we made transport more efficient but we seem to have less time.
yes.exactly.in today's society,there's practically no time for leisure.
not even leisure,dammit.
no time for friends you haven talked to for ages(when was the last time you chatted up your primary school friends?)
no time to think about wut you wanna do in the future.

its like,i see all you out there..
all getting good results and all heading to good jcs.
and then i ask.
'with such good results,there's nothing in your way to fulfil your ambitioins right..'
and they look at me blurly and say,' huh,wut ambitions?'
why is it that we all spend so much time studying,when we have no goal in sight?
do you really feel any sense of achievement when you score well?
if you do..why?
cos you studied so hard for it..
or because you are one step closer to realising your ambitions?

im crapping again!ahh!
sorry twits..but aiya at least its not emo!

i'd advice you ppl to take some time out and go take a really slow and draggy bus ride-bus 14,for example,from clementi to bedok-and chill dudes.
=]

love ya idiots.
ciao sucker

JAX ......out