bleugh!

Friday, October 27, 2006 8:44 AM

huiying:

yes i still do visit your blog.
like you,i love reading blogs.
im a v kaypoh person.
no you aint stupid.

i hold nothing against your 'outside' friends..
but i know that sometimes when you mention them too much,ppl can get jealous one you know?
and i dont like cally theyall to be addressed as THE THINGS that made you upset.
its pretty insulting.
so yah.in a way i am thankful as im sure cally they all are that they were there for you when cally theyall were not.
yes im sorry for having interfered.
im a busybody i know.
but its hard,to see all you dear ones to quarrel like that..all the hurt..i feel it too you know?
no that post was not meant to make you angry or wutever.
i just stopped trying to guess how you would react whenever you see me blog about you,you know?
i guess ppl all have different ways of showing care and concern.
im sorry i didnt write to you..
i didnt know you'd like to write..
cos ive written to so many ppl before...
and somehow msot of them dont reply anymore...so i kinda stop trying to write to new ppl,cos im so scared theyd stop writing to me again..
and you didnt seem like somebody who would like letters you know?
had i KNOWN you liked letters i wouldd have jmped at the first opportunity to write to you.
lam is NOT lying.
i do like you i do.
reading through the old conversations i had with you,it made me feel so sad and nostalgic..
i remember my birthday...you were there celebrating alongside ting ying cally for me.
i was so grateful..
when you asked me online whether you can celebrate my birthday for me,i was so happy huiying.
somebody actually wanted to celebrate my birthday for me.
i was so happy.
im glad you like the blog...that tingting and you have created together.
you see?the bond is still there..
you still miss her.
or you would have deleted that blog..
its hard to forget friends who'd left marks behind in your heart.
i know that kinda feeling.
i do.
nobody's asking you to forget her.or to be strong all the time.
i dont really know wut happened between you and ting and i know i shouldn interfere.
but tingting needed me and i wanted to be there for her.
in tingting's most recent letter to me she told me.
friends are there to tell you where you go wrong so you can be righted.
they are there to help you right your wrongs.
they dont condemn your flaws they accept them and help you change them.
that is why we blog wut we blogged.
not to put you down theyre to bring you up.
i didnt understand cally's bit about swanyee then but now i understand you know?
if even our own friends do not tell us why we are wrong,we'd never change for the better would we?
there's this quote : "Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship."
and this:
"When friends stop being frank and useful to each other, the whole world loses some of its radiance."
- Anatole Broyard
huiying,i am not trying to be smart.
you see?
yeh if you dont,i will be your guide.
because you are my friend.
and friends help each other.
i am sorry if i hurt you in any way and im sure cally theyall feel the same.
friends point out mistakes.
they tell them to you-through blogs or wutever-in hopes that you might change.
its not to hurt you.
seeing the way you guys hurt each other..
it told me alot.
if you guys dont treasure each other,it is impossible to be able to hurt each other.
so you see,all of youall care for one another deeply.
that is the only reason why you manage to hurt one another.
so yes you hurt me too.
but that doesnt mean i stopped loving you,or stopped showing concern.
'wut is love without hurt?'
ye.

see,such a long post just for you.
and yes,you are still my friend.
=)
friends?

i still say friends can be for forever.they can.

JAX ......out