bleugh!

Sunday, September 10, 2006 4:13 AM

counting down to prelims.....0 days left.

in fact,its only several hours away.more than half of which must be spent recharging our brain cells.

which leaves.
.
.
.
.
.
a few pathetic hours.
ah wells.
doomsday is here.
all the best ppl.

you know wut it feels like,huh,when you are still in the darkest deepest periods,and sinking deeper into this thing called
D E P R E S S I O N, and you cannot show or express your fears and moods and feelings and tears just because.
just because you have to be strong for ppl around you.
for your family.

cos if you havent,good for you.

the feeling sucks.

when you can no longer cry in the safety of your own home.
own room.
own bed.
own toilet.
own privacy.
just cos you have to be strong for your family.
it doesnt matter if you haven studied for your prelims.
it doesnt matter if you have relationship problems.
it doesnt matter if your having issues with your faith.
it doesnt matter if you already feel so damn insecure with all your friends.
cos now you have the insecurity creeping up on you even when you are in the privacy of your own room cos you know your with your family.
whos supposed to give you security.
why is it so difficult to find someone who can give me the damn security i ask for?
isit so friggin hard?
why isit i even need security now?
wutever happened to my strong will and good nature i still possessed less than a year ago?
gone.gone with the drops of rain that fell on me today.all gone.

it really sucks to feel insecure and have to admit it.
but i can no longer drown others with my lies.
not those i love.not those i care for.

dammit.

i need a friggin hug but i dont even dare ask for one.

JAX ......out