bleugh!

Saturday, August 05, 2006 4:20 AM

i guess that was the final straw.
i think i blew it,after that entry.
thanks for being there for me weitheng and yaya.
and of course my son van=)
sorry i was pretty vulgar.
see,thats not even me.
im becoming vulgar.where is lam.where is jax.
who am i?...
im getting vloser and closer to really jump off any building.
why.why why why.
my family problems are getting worse and worse.
my friendship problems are getting worse and worse.
my life is in shambles.
i want to tell you shey,tell you all about it.
but no,i cannot.
and you cannot.
we cannot.
my life is lonely only because i refuse to see how many ppl there are around me.
but its just not the same without you,shey,caho,jac,pearl.
i do miss you.

sigh i must wake up.
when will dreams ever come true.
they are dreams for a reason.
how i wish,we both never dreamt of reconciling.
all in the hopes that we may reconcile.
i have done everything in my power.
but nothing can be achieved,if we both lack the courage,both lack the will,and everything else to do reconcile.
ive really tried my best,
believe me.

i still haven gotten farewell presents.
an image of apologising over and over again to my juniors at farewell for belated presents is bugging my mind.
how how how???
i still dont know wut to wear to farewell.
why got such stupid rules,why must make me wear skirt/gown. =(
torturous ahband traditions.

and this i say to all you who's been trying to knock some sense into me:

if you get there before i do,dont give up on me.
i'll meet you when my chores are through,i dont know how long i'll be.
but im not gonna let you down,darlin,wait and see.
and between now and then till i see you again,
i'll be loving you,
love,me.

and to you:remember this?

JAX ......out