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Tuesday, July 04, 2006 6:31 AM

abstract from my diary entry post today:

''......
is this the last present i give to them?


perhaps.
but i do not wish it so.
because i want a movie marathon with them still.
because i want to go xboxing with them.
cos i love them.
and i half-wish for them to come hug me again.
='( ''


i dunno why but i just started keeping a diary.
to really keep track of my moods.
to really stop and think how im feeling.
though every entry i write will hurt me.
because i have to sit down and think about my turbid of feelings.
because i dont know wut i feel.
cos its really too painful to take.
its times like this that makes me feel that
dying is seriously much easier.
much much easier.
but i do not take that road.
because it is not mine to take.
because i still want to love you guys.
no matter how painful it is.

todaay i read from somewhere that ''to love is to be hurt'' or something like that.
it made me think
wut is love without hurt to strengthen it??
now i know.
now i know im wrong.
forgive me my beloveds.
although i believe i am beyond redemption.


JAX ......out


LAMJIAXIN

call me. JAX.
septembereighteen 180990.

lovesJESUS

dislikesbugs and germs.

(:



D:



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